


new heart on your sleeve

by JulianAlbertsCat (AdhdBarryAllen)



Series: AllenbertWeek2017 [4]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Allenbert Week 2017, Angst, M/M, Minor Barry Allen/Iris West, One-Sided Attraction, Platonic Soulmates, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, endgame allenbert, its gonna be okay dont worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 07:23:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9591629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdhdBarryAllen/pseuds/JulianAlbertsCat
Summary: For as long as he could remember, Barry Allen has always had Iris for a soulmate. But after returning from Flashpoint, something has changed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, I actually made it through all seven days!  
> This one is a day late cause it was being hard to write.  
> Special thanks to Galo and awintersoldieriscoming for their help!!  
> Some quick background on this au:  
> Plato-mate: platonic soulmate. always on the wrist.  
> Heart-mate: romantic soulmate. always on the heart.  
> Nearly everyone has a soulmate, but not everyone has both kinds. Being with someone who isn't your heart-mate is slightly rare, but socially acceptable to most people. Having romantic feelings for your plato-mate is frowned upon.  
> I think that's about it? Enjoy!

For as long as he could remember, Barry Allen has always had an iris, the mark of his soulmate, over his heart.

He asked his mother what it meant and sat in her lap as they flipped through an encyclopedia of flowers. His little hands touched the page when they found the flower that matched his mark. His mother smiled down at him.

“An iris means hope, faith, and valor,” his mother told him. “Your heart-mate must be a wonderful person.”

He was in elementary school when he met his Iris. She was everything he had hoped. Iris was caring, courageous, and kind so she was always there for him.. The two became best friends immediately.

Then, Nora Allen was murdered.

He remembered Joe taking him to their house telling him everything was going to be okay. He didn't quite believe that sentiment. Nevertheless, Barry still had Iris. He'd always have Iris.

As they grew older, they learned what their marks _really_ meant for them; some day, the two of them would be more than best friends. Maybe they'd even get married.

“We have all the time in the world, Barry Allen,” she would say.

Barry would laugh it off but deep down a part of him wondered how much their bond really meant to her. Before the coma, he had planned to confront her about it. He wanted to tell her how much she meant to him, but lightning struck, and by the time he woke up, she had found Eddie.

He didn't resent her for it; above all, he wanted his heart-mate to be happy. It was clear she was happy with Eddie.

But he was The Flash now, and running away from his problems had never been easier.

From there it was just one thing after another. After Eddie’s death, she wasn't in the right place to be with Barry. Barry didn't press the issue; they were all grieving Eddie, but Iris had been his _fiancé_.

Just when Barry thought things couldn't get any worse, his father was murdered before his eyes. So of course he wasn't ready to be with _her._ It was as if the universe was teasing him, placing this wonderful person in his life but never quite allowing them to be together.

When he saved his mother, Barry created a whole new existence. It felt like he would finally be with his heart-mate, but even that was a means to an end.

+++

Julian Albert was one effect of Flashpoint that he could have never expected. Barry had never _known_ Julian before he changed the timeline. Had he even existed then?

Either way, he was here now. Julian hated him, and Barry didn't even know _why._

He had no way of knowing what the past version of him had done to make Julian so standoff-ish. Not even his friends seemed to know. From what he gathered, Barry had never told them much about Julian other than how annoying he found him. He had never given them a reason as to why, which struck him as particularly odd. Had the other Barry been hiding something from them?

He would much rather put that past behind him and move on. He wasn’t that same Barry, so why couldn’t they try? Not like he could tell Julian he was from another timeline. But all his efforts to be friends were rebuffed.

“I don’t need any help, Allen, and certainly not from you.”

The words stung. Barry was _trying_ , why couldn’t he see?

“What did I even _do_ to you?!” Barry tried not to shout, but was failing. His heart-mark was _searing_ . “I’m _trying_ to be nice to you, but I just, I don’t understand!”

Julian huffed. “You know bloody well what you’ve done.”

Barry wanted to yell, to scream that this wasn’t his fault, that he had no idea what the other him had done, but it was all just another excuse. Getting angry wouldn’t help anything. He braced his hands behind his neck and promptly left.

The night Julian chose to open up to him was after a particularly bad day. Barry had been shadowing Julian, hoping to move past the bad blood between them. Needless to say, it hadn’t ended well.

“I nearly killed a kid tonight.” Julian said as Barry packed up his belongings. He sounded so _exhausted._ “The monster we were chasing, it turns out it was just a hologram, operated by a fifteen-year-old boy. _Flash_ came to save the day. He saved me from doing something—” Julian seemed unable to say the words.

“I heard.”

“It’s sad, that kid, he’s just acting cause he’s scared, you know? He wants everyone to be terrified, and to run away from the monster, so he can feel powerful. I know what that’s like.”

Barry nodded, listening intently as Julian told him all about his estranged family in England. Julian _never_ talked about his family. Julian loosened his tie and gave a laugh, but it was too weak to be real. How was it that Julian was so beautiful when he was on the verge of tears?

“I came here to do the one thing they couldn't stop me from doing; becoming a scientist. Becoming a great scientist. And just as I got to the top of my field, poof. The world changes overnight. Metahumans. I don't know a single thing about metahumans!” He cried, throwing his hands up in exasperation. Julian fell into his chair. “So, rendered useless. I suppose that’s the monster that I’m running from now; feeling powerless.“

“I feel the same way some days, Julian,” Barry finally said. He took a moment, trying to find the right words.  “I lost my mom when I was a kid. Lost my dad recently. It’s a scary world; people die, trust is betrayed, things change… Change can be a good thing, you know? It can bring… new experiences, new opportunities, new people… People can treat it like a potential enemy or like a new friend, just trust that everything is gonna be okay. “ He ran a hand absentmindedly over his heart-mark, then continued to pack his desk into the box.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”  Julian stood up, pacing for a moment before finally speaking up. “You, you can stop. You can stay. I was really wrong about The Flash, so, I could be wrong about you too. “ Barry looked up in surprise. He could stay? Julian was actually _letting_ him stay? “Goodnight mate.”

Julian grabbed his coat and made to leave, but Barry couldn't bear to see him go.

“Julian—Wanna get a drink?”

“Yeah, yeah I’d like that”

“Alright. Let’s do it.”

+++

He and Iris hadn’t had much time to catch up since Barry had gotten back from Flashpoint. She’d suggested they get lunch, so they decided to try the new sandwich shop downtown together. They had ordered the largest sandwich possible, and had barely managed to agree on the toppings. They sat down, and Barry cut Iris off section of the humongous sandwich they had bought.

“So, how has everything been?” He asked her, and she launched into a

It’s was nice, to spend time with her outside of Flash business. Even just hearing her talk about her day at work, he realized how much he’d been missing her.

With that thought, he feels his left wrist sear with warmth. The sensation was familiar; it was the feeling of their bond. It was different from the usual feeling that came from their heart-mark. usually, the feeling was at his heart, not his wrist. It felt pure, like a hug, almost. He was vaguely aware Iris was talking to him, but Barry had been so focused on the feeling of their bond that he had forgotten to listen to what she was telling him.

“Sorry, Iris, you were saying?” He asks, taking a sip of his drink.

“Oh, nothing important. I was just saying that my boss wants me to report on Central’s annual charity ball.”

“Iris, that’s… That’s huge! Congratulations,” he replies, smiling fondly.

She thumbed over his wrist gently; the same spot that had burned just moments before. “Thanks, Barry. You’re the best plato-mate anyone could ask for.”

Barry’s heart stopped. He couldn't have heard that right. He and Iris were _heart-_ mates, not _plato-_ mates!

He pushed up his sleeve, and sure enough, there was a soul mark. It was the same mark he had had for Iris before; the black silhouette of her token flower. Only now, it was in the wrong spot.

How could he have not noticed before? Barry had been back from Flashpoint for _weeks_ now. Maybe it was because of his habit of speeding into his clothes that he had never noticed the change in his soul mark.

He thought the universe had destined them to be together, but now it seemed the universe had changed its mind. Barry had waited for his heart-mate for years, but when she finally decided she was ready to be with him, he changed the timeline, rendering all of that obsolete. Iris was his plato-mate now; he faced this with a resigned acceptance. It went without saying that plato-mates weren’t meant to be together romantically. And Iris might have a new heart-mate, for all he knew.

But if he was being honest with himself, he didn’t feel particularly saddened by this. Barry had been missing their friendship; missing the simpler way things had been, before nine-month-long comas and superpowers.

But if Iris was no longer his heart-mate, who was? All the times he had felt his heart-mate these past few weeks, he thought he had been feeling Iris. Were he and his heart-mate together? How was he supposed to face them?

“Bear, is something wrong?”

He shouldn’t tell her about this. He knew it would only confuse her, but he wanted to tell her so _badly._ “Do you know my heart-mate?” He finally blurted out.

Iris sighed. “No, Barry, that’s the one thing you’d never tell me. You’ve told me bits and pieces about him, but never his name.”

“ _His_?” Oh god. He knew who it was. All the times he was in his lab with Julian and felt his heart-bond, he had thought it was just Iris thinking about him.

“Wait, do you really not know who your heart-mate is? Did it change after Flashpoint?”

Barry’s head dropped to the table. He nodded, effectively slamming his head on the table in the process. “I think my heart-mate is Julian.”

+++

Barry stormed into the lab without warning. He was on a warpath to Julian’s desk, it seemed. Julian leaned back in his chair, preparing for whatever dissatisfaction Barry had with him this time.

Barry tugged at his sweater, pulling it aside to reveal a mark that vaguely resembled a star.

“What is this!?” Barry blurted out. Julian couldn't gauge from his tone if he was shocked or outraged.

“It’s an octogram,” Julian replied flatly. “But I believe it’s also an alchemical symbol meaning ‘creation.’”

“No, but, but it’s a heart-mark! And not just any mark, it matches yours. I can _feel_ it.”

Julian massaged his temples. Why was Barry so worked up about this? It wasn’t exactly _new_ information _._ He undid the top two buttons of his shirt and tugged it to the side, revealing his own heart-mark.

Barry took in a sharp breath as his gaze fell on the mark at Julian’s heart. It was like a miniature rendition of the Lichtenberg figures that had decorated his body after the accident. They had healed long before Barry had woken up, but Caitlin had showed him the photos. In the photos of his own scars, He had thought of them as ugly, but he knew now he was wrong. Julian’s mark was breathtaking. It frayed out like the roots of a tree and just barely dusted over his collar bone, like a mix between a fern and a feather. Barry reached out to touch it, but pulled his hand back quickly when he saw Julian lean away.

“Why is it that you only care about this _now_?” Julian challenged, quickly fixing his shirt and hiding his heart-mark away.

“Oh, _I_ don't know, maybe because we’re _soulmates_?”

“Which is something you’ve known for _years_.”

“But then why haven't we ever…” he gestured vaguely between them, unable to find the words to convey what he was feeling.

Julian let out an exhausted sigh. “I don't know, Allen. Maybe you were too caught up pining for Miss West, despite her having found _her_ heart-mate. Maybe you were just too disgusted that your heart-mate was _me_.”

“Jules, you know that's not—”

Julian cut him off. “You don't get to call me that.”

“But why—”

“Because, against all my best interests, I _like_ you, Allen!” Julian shouted, his hands clutching at his hair. “But I'm not going to get involved with a heart-mate that won't give me the bloody time of day!”

“Please, just go out for dinner with me,” Barry pleaded. “Have dinner with me and I’ll never bother you again.”

And just like that, all of the anger left him. That was all he had ever wanted from Barry; a chance.

Julian didn’t want to give in easily. After all, Barry had had years to try to be with him, but hadn’t bothered. But this time, Barry seemed genuine. It appeared as though he had finally accepted Julian as his heart-mate, and Julian hoped to any god that it was the truth.

He didn’t hate Barry; he never had. It had just been so hard to have a heartmate that was so near, and yet didn't seem to care about him at all. It was one dinner, and if it was terrible, Julian could tell him to piss off. But what if it went well?

“Fine, we’ll do dinner. Do you like pasta and documentaries?”

Barry nodded vigorously. “That’s perfect.”

“Good. Be at my place by six, I’ll send you the address,” Julian told him. He gathered his finished reports and left to deliver them to Singh, leaving behind Barry and his own mixed emotions.

+++

He had just pulled the lasagna out of the oven when a knock at his door at ten past six alerted him to Barry’s arrival. He set it on the stove and rushed to the door, nearly tripping over one of his cats in the process. Why was he so eager? He owed Barry nothing. He had spent the past year being ignored by his heart-mate, only to finally be given a chance. _Barry_ was the one who needed a second chance from _Julian_.

He stopped at the door, taking a deep breath and smoothing down his shirt before opening it.

Barry greeted him with a goofy smile and a handful of Hydrangeas. Hydrangeas meant heartfelt emotions and gratitude for being understood, Julian recalled, but they also meant frigidity and heartlessness. How fitting.

Symbolism aside, it _was_ the first time anyone had ever gotten him flowers. He should have known Barry would be a hopeless romantic (not that he minded much, it was cute). Julian gave a small smile and accepted them graciously, leading Barry into his apartment.

“You're early,” he noted, pulling a vase down from the cabinet to put the flowers in.

“Early? But I'm ten minutes late!”

Julian chuckled, filling the vase with water and setting it on the coffee table. “I meant I wasn't expecting you till 6:30. I told you six so you'd get here on time.”

Julian watched as the realization crossed Barry's face. He let out a sudden burst of laughter. “Julian, I think you found the cure to my tardiness!”

Julian waved a hand dismissively. “Anyways, the lasagna just came out of the oven, so it'll be a bit before it's cool enough. I've got Netflix though if you want to browse for documentaries.”

“Any preferences?” Barry asked, wandering into the living room and sitting down on Julian's couch. It was small and clearly not meant for more than two people, but it was surprisingly comfortable.

“Archeology is always good. History in general, really,” Julian called from the kitchen as he sliced into the lasagna. He probably should have let it cool longer, but he didn't want to keep Barry waiting.

He brought the plates out to Barry, who seemed to have made himself at home. He had queued up a movie about the construction of the Great Pyramid of Giza (which Julian had already seen), and one of Julian’s cats had made her way into his lap.

“I see that Potter likes you,” Julian commented, squeezing in next to Barry. The shift in positions was enough to send the dark tabby bounding away.

“Not anymore, I guess,” Barry laughed.

Barry pressed play on the movie. He took a bite of the lasagna, practically moaning at the taste. Julian refused to let that distract him, though.

“Julian, this is _amazing!”_

Julian waved a hand dismissively, but secretly, he was overjoyed at Barry’s praise.

They weren't very far into the documentary when it began telling the story of the slaves who had built the pyramids. The film was clearly outdated; Julian couldn't help but correct them.

“That’s wrong,” He said, nudging Barry slightly. “The people who built the pyramids were actually employed.”

Barry paused the film, turning to face him. “Really? How do you know?”

“I was a history major at university. Did archeology for a while too.”

“Huh, I didn't know that.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Allen,” Julian said quietly.

Barry ran a hand through his hair. “I'm sorry that I've…” He didn't want to make excuses for what the past version of him had done to Julian. “Past me was an asshole. I-I shouldn't have treated you that way.”

Barry stopped. He let out a sigh, dragging a hand through his hair. “No. Wait. That’s not what I want to say. We’re heart-mates, I shouldn’t lie to you. What I’m trying to say is… I’m The Flash.”

Julian raised an eyebrow. “Am I supposed to be surprised?”

“What, did I tell you already?”

“No, but it certainly makes sense.”

“I’m from another timeline,” he blurted out. “I ran back in time to save my mother. I lived with her in that timeline, but things… They went bad. I had to make it right. But when I came back, things were _different_. I tried to fix things, but all I did was make things worse.”

There was a softness to Julian's green eyes as he studied Barry. He was telling the truth, that much was obvious.

“That’s… certainly a lot to take in, Al—Barry.” Julian exhaled. “So what you’re saying is, the Barry that I knew a few months ago, he wasn’t you.”

Barry nodded. “I don’t even know what he did to you. I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

He observed the way Barry thumbed unconsciously over his plato-mark, like it was new and foreign. Maybe Iris was comforting him through their bond? Julian didn't have a plato-mate, he had no idea what a platonic bond entailed.

“I didn’t actually realize we were soulmates for a while, actually. Suddenly you were there, in my life, calling me out for being late to work, and I… I thought I’d be in love with Iris my whole life, but then _you_ came along. And I know I might not deserve it, but I really wanna give this a try. That is, if you'll let me.”

Barry's hand moved from his mark and settled over Julian’s own. “Can I kiss you?” Barry asked.

Julian didn't reply; he leaned in to meet Barry's lips instead. The kiss was chaste and dry, but somehow it felt… right. For the first time, he noticed that Barry smelled faintly of cinnamon. Cinnamon and fresh rain.

When they finally parted, there was a beat of silence neither of them dared break.

“I really wanna make this work. Do you think we can?” Barry said at last. It was a sentiment he had expressed more than once this evening, but this time his tone carried a raw truth to it. His voice was hushed, still trying to preserve this moment.

“ _God_ I hope so,” Julian responded, leaning in to kiss his soulmate again, and Julian couldn't help but feel like everything was going to be alright.

**Author's Note:**

>  ~~yes i absolutely DO work julian's cats into everything i write~~  
>  Come say hi on [tungle!](http://adhd-barry-allen.tumblr.com)


End file.
